FOR IMMEDIATE RELEASE
Announcing the Magic Chip!
Almonte California, April 1, 2014 – Ruiz Enterprises is proud to announce the introduction of the ultimate race accessory: The Magic Chip! This high-tech proprietary chip replaces your race-supplied chip and ensures the highest level of accuracy and robust performance in your race results. The Magic Chip corrects such key errors as:
Technical failures of the race timing systemMistakes in course layout and measurementInaccuracy in running course tangentsInexperience at your chosen event, whether it’s a 5K road race or an Ironman triathlonMistakes in race execution, such as poor pacing or nutritionInadequate or nonexistent trainingPicking the wrong parents
Features of the magic chip include:
Modular snap-on pods and RFID modules that match the visual look of all major race timing systems.Using the supplied app, pre-program the chip with your expected race performance, and the Magic Chip makes it happen!Generates a complete GPS track of your programmed race compatible with MapMyRun, Garmin Connect, TrainingPeaks, etc.Our proprietary auto-correct algorithm gently instructs you if you set unrealistic goals: “I think a 2:03 marathon is a bit much, how about we shoot for 2:33 instead?”On-the-fly competitor tracking ensures that your final placing is as impressive as possible without arousing undue scrutiny.Fully compatible with the WattBooster bicycle power meter for the ultimate in performance enhancing devices!
Have a bad day and don’t live up to your planned performance? Not to worry, the Magic Chip will make sure that the race timing system knows what you were capable of had you actually trained! Get a Magic Chip today and see your results rocket into the Stratosphere!
Some Magic Chip testimonials:
“Next time I brag about my results in an interview I’ll make sure that I have the Magic Chip results to back it up!” – Paul Ryann
“From now on I’m using the Magic Chip in all my races. Who needs to be the laughingstock of the Internet and the subject of an exposé in the New Yorker! I mean, of all magazines, the New Yorker?” – Kipp Littonn
“If only I’d had a Magic Chip I could have skipped all that testosterone and not had to deal with enlarged breasts and ’roid rage! I’m so #@$%ing mad this wasn’t out three years ago, I think I’ll go punch a hole in the #@$%ing wall!” – Kevinn Moates
Our motto:* “It isn’t cheating – it’s letting people know the real you!”*
Price: $2,999
For more information, contact:
Ruiz Enterprises
B. Johnson Industrial Complex
1919 White Sox Way
Almonte, CA 90555
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