I’m re-entering the dating world after taking a two-year siesta. My social circle is rather small and, frankly, none of my friends are willing to help me out (I think I need new friends). Also, I’m not the type to go to bars/clubs so that avenue is out. As such, online dating looks like my only option. A few questions:
What are the best sites in your opinion?
What are their strengths and weaknesses?
What percentage of the time do guys initiate contact? Almost always?
I’m re-entering the dating world after taking a two-year siesta. My social circle is rather small and, frankly, none of my friends are willing to help me out (I think I need new friends). Also, I’m not the type to go to bars/clubs so that avenue is out. As such, online dating looks like my only option. A few questions:
What are the best sites in your opinion?
What are their strengths and weaknesses?
What percentage of the time do guys initiate contact? Almost always?
Any success stories?
Thanks.
I’ve been using OK Cupid for a while. I’m not interested in a LTR, so I use it primarily just to meet men and go out. Most of the guys are looking for exactly what I want to give, so it makes it all easier.
As with any site you get the assholes and the nice guys so you have to just delete the junk and reply to the ones that sound interesting.
I’ve met a few men from OKC and had some good times and some, I can’t wait to get the hell outa here dates.
I was honest on my page, but most people aren’t. It’s kinda up to you to weed out the liars
I met my husband on match.com. It’s the only site I tried so I don’t have a comparison. Very easy to use and a ton of people on there. I met a lot of really genuine people and did not have any truly bad experiences. Sure, I went on a lot of less than stellar dates, but that is to be expected. I would say men contact women >90% of the time.
I started a thread about online dating a couple years ago. May be worth a read. It’s easily searchable.
Met the wife on match.com 8 years ago. Only did match so no experience with other sites.
I had two women lie to me. Both about having kids. Other than that it was generally a positive experience. It was a while ago but I only remember one or two women contacting me.
Start with e-mails. Move to phone calls and then finally meet. I found that if I initiated the first meet it had to be a public place of her choosing.
Go into it not expecting to fall in love on the first date and you’ll do fine.
I tried eharmony and match. People on eharmony seemed to be more serious, more…employed, which I appreciated since that’s more of what I was looking for. However, after a few months I had seemingly run through all of the profiles in my area and they were only sending me dead profiles. Up until then, it had been a fairly interesting experience. I’d say it was 50/50 on initiating contact on that site, but they sort of spoon-feed you profiles over time, and the initial contact is very structured.
I went to match after eharmony, and it was a lot to take in. A lot of volume, a lot of noise, but lots of people on there. I ended up meeting someone I dated for about 6 months, but after that ended I didn’t go back. I’d say the guys initiate more on that site, but it could have just been because everyone has the freedom to search.
I met my husband out in the real world after I quit online dating, but I know a handful of couples that have met online, mostly through match.
Tinder - like hotornot, some extremely hot women on there, much higher % of hotness on there compared to other dating sites imo, maybe because my age settings are too wide?
Shallow. Hot girls in provocative pics. Makes me wish I was 20 again.
Figure out what you want then do a search. Many use Match and POF but there are sites for cycling friends, interracial relations, farmers, dog lovers, alternative lifestyles, midget mates and the list goes on. Most everyone lies in their online profiles so expect very little. As others have posted, women lie about weight and men about height and age. Be honest and as specific as possible to avoid the shitsters and be kind enough to reply to every message sent. It does not mean you need to remain in contact with the sender but a simple thank you is nice. Also, post a photo with you only, not one with a “friend” blacked out or of or with your children. Good luck and report with the funny crap you experience.
As someone said earlier, you need to go into it not expecting every first date to be “the one.”
The biggest difference between online dating and meeting people in person is that the first date is actually the first meeting. Generally the process is you meet someone in person, talk to them for a while, get to know them just a bit, maybe see them again, and then ask them out on a date. With online dating you go into the first date without already having the get-to-know-you stuff.
Having said that, the flip side is you are meeting women who are single, looking to date, and have already fleshed out their requirements and you made the cut. I found this to be a lot easier than trying to figure all that stuff out with clever (or not so clever, in my case) questions in person.
Figure out what you want then do a search. Many use Match and POF but there are sites for cycling friends, interracial relations, farmers, dog lovers, alternative lifestyles, midget mates and the list goes on. Most everyone lies in their online profiles so expect very little. As others have posted, women lie about weight and men about height and age. Be honest and as specific as possible to avoid the shitsters and be kind enough to reply to every message sent. It does not mean you need to remain in contact with the sender but a simple thank you is nice. Also, post a photo with you only, not one with a “friend” blacked out or of or with your children. Good luck and report with the funny crap you experience.
Be specific whilst not setting out a list of ‘musts’ and ‘must nots’. Lists just put every guy off, and for some reason women on dating sites seem to be obsessed with them.
It may not be your cup of tea, but something to consider apart from online. You won’t need ‘new friends’, a computer…just yourself and being out and about. Forget about feeling odd or embarrassed and make eye contact with every woman that peaks your interest while out in every day walks of life. Not a cheesy glare, just smile. If she smiles back say hi. I promise you it’s about that difficult…nature takes over after that.
I’m a huge nerd, very average looking and I figured out a long time ago if I wanted to meet a great woman I was going to have to go make it happen they were not going to run to me. In my experience there are TONS of fantastic women who are dying to be talked to, nicely mind you, but most guys are either too scared or just go full on Simple Jack when they see an attractive woman and don’t know how to behave. That’s the easy part, no need to ‘act’ just be you don’t need to be anything else. So many guys just go into melt down mode when talking with women they don’t know all you have to do is not be an idiot and you have already separated yourself from the herd! Promise!
What part of the country do you live in? Where I live in Tampa, FL it’s literally got to be somewhere around 3:1 single women to men it’s insane. I have had some friends use online dating sites, but nothing to report really. No horror stories, but no long term success stories either.
I often wonder if my wife and I signed up on one of the those sites if we would get put together.
In the old days, you had to go to a bar and use your skills to meet a woman, now thousands are at your finger tips. Where is the sport in that? These youngsters got it made.
I met my wife on match.com, went on a few dates with other women some good, some interesting…I went into it hoping just to have fun and if something greater happened great. Good luck!
lol