I’m not sure if there’s a women’s version… so I’m not much help there. But I would purchase her a men’s pair. They seem to work for her. Then you can steal hers when you need to. Great way to get yourself a back-up pair when needed.
I’d say buy her a pair, and if the mens ones work, buy those. If you wife is riding in regular shorts and is sore afterwards… well that’s just not good for you either.